I forgot how to dance after seeing two straight girls grind in a bar. But it’s insulting to see somebody so effortlessly possess a moment that the public immediately labels grossly inappropriate, should it involve people who genuinely desire it. I’m sure that those two girls I traveled with, grinding on the dance floor, saw that instant as a joke, too. Not that two grown, consenting men decided to kiss despite identifying as straight (with the blessing of Reynold’s wife, by the way), but that the kiss was a complete joke - and an effective one, since Kelly’s studio and the entire Internet laughed. The second Ripa brought it up, Garfield became clearly bashful when asked about the story behind it, Garfield explained that he and Reynolds had planned it as a funny moment should Reynolds win, since cameras were on all nominees. Take Garfield’s statement about the kiss on LIVE with Kelly Ripa. But I look at these snapshots and see the foundation of a much bigger problem.
Yet who was I to police who should be kissing who? Who am I, now, to assume that Reynolds and Garfield don’t call someplace on the LGBTQ+ spectrum home or have fluid sexualities? Nobody, I suppose.
And two months prior to that night, a nightclub full of queer lovers and dreamers had been filled with bullets and bodies. I hadn’t had a serious relationship yet, since so few of us were open at that school. My high school’s GSA had kids who only attended once a month, fearing that somebody would figure out why they disappeared every Monday. It took me ages to figure out why that sight bothered me so much. I left the dance floor and anxiously waited for somebody to walk back to the hostel with. The DJ was great, and so was I - until I saw two girls I was traveling with, girls who, to my knowledge, very much identified as straight, grinding on the dance floor, cheered on by friends and strangers alike.
During a night in Vang Vieng, we ended up at a local hotspot. I’d just graduated and was traveling Asia with a group of volunteers doing construction work in developing villages.
Bless the fangirls and their rekindled hopes for a Spiderman/Deadpool rom-com, but personally, I cringed, remembering my first time at a bar. The Golden Globes clip I played on repeat was Meryl Streep’s lethal political takedown the one I avoided was the infamous kiss between Andrew Garfield and Ryan Reynolds.